because tonight i feel alone.

“I hate u, I love u?” -Gnash

10:17 pm-

i honestly do not miss you. but i think about you. a lot. i hope that you are okay. i hope that you are happy. i have a lot of unanswered questions when it comes to our demise. do i cross your mind?  or does she? who is she? i dont know why you told me this could work, because i think you always knew i was too broken for you to fix. i wonder what parts of me i could adapt from you leaving me. but i dont know. i dont know why i wasnt the one you needed. that haunts me sometimes.

12:23 am-

i miss the idea of you. the rush of emotions you gave me seems irreplaceable. i trusted you. i still trust you. is that apart of moving on? i compare a lot of guys to you, but i dont think anyone can add up. that makes me sad that i let you go. but i dont think ive let you go completely. or at all. which makes me tired. im ready to replace you but im too tired to let someone else in again. because they always leave. like you left. when do i get to leave? im trying to let go of you but no one wants to take your place.

1:59 am-

i think i miss parts of you. your smile and the way you laugh. the sound of your voice when you promised me it was going to be okay. the way i felt like i was good enough for you. the way you made me feel about myself. is that selfish of me? i dont know. no ones ever made me feel that way. i wish you wouldnt have done that. i feel like i just cant connect to anyone after you left. i dont see the point in opening up to people, because its so sticky. the dark parts of me are sticky. my feelings are still stuck to you. im sorry that i got stuck to parts of you. i dont want to be. i just am.

3:47 am-

i miss you so much. please miss me too.

 

2 thoughts on “because tonight i feel alone.

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